A relaxed, friendly atmosphere coupled with a fierce competitive edge is the style of the OE Cricket Club. A series of lively fixtures is organised against good club sides during the season by the Society. The Club also plays the 1st XI at the College during the Summer Term. Members are guaranteed a number of matches played on beautifully kept grounds followed by a pleasant after-match social get together.

All OEs, male or female, of any age or playing ability are welcome to join the Club and develop this unique opportunity to extend their game whilst enjoying pleasant surroundings and agreeable company. For further information contact John Collier. Email: john.collier@monument-tools.com

Founder's Day Match, 29th June 2010 - Old Epsomians versus Epsom 1st XI

By Dougie Hastings (Forest 1999-2004)

There are certain moments in a man's life when he feels destined for greatness. Waking up on a strange couch, wearing last night's clothes and wondering which way was up, was not one of them. Nevertheless, that is how I found myself on the morning of the infamous Founder's Day cricket match. I'd immediately felt as though I'd let myself down at the last hurdle, after our carefully selected squad had been through such a rigorous training programme over the previous months, headed up by our skipper, Rob.  He had led us to Hell with his obsession for push ups, and then back to reality via Purgatory and a mandatory 30,000 star jumps per day. Luckily, I don't work in an office, so my antics largely went unnoticed, but for other key members of the squad, such as James 'I can puncture the O-zone Layer with a checked drive' Marjoram, it had meant that his exhilarating audit of a warehouse in Milton Keynes had suffered, and everything he knew, was now on the line for the sake of this match.

An hour later, I was sprawled out in the back of Rob's Maybach, FT in my lap, trying to understand what all the squiggly lines and numbers meant, as I was revising for the conversations I would inevitably have to attempt to partake in. As his driver headed us towards the bright lights of Epsom, I could tell Rob was tense. Either that, or it's a Saturday morning ritual for him to text profound profanities to everyone in his phone book, followed by thirty eight exclamation marks. I tried to explain that there was no need to text me, as I was sitting right next to him, but he was having none of it. He just buried his face in his Men's Fitness and sipped vigorously on his strawberry Frappuccino (cream based). Things got worse when I reminded him that a cricket team has eleven players in it, not just the ten that he'd selected.

He turned to me and sobbed.

After moving to the front seat to remove my soul from imminent danger, I took it upon myself to call upon a person, who, in my book was largely overlooked by the powers that be, during our school days. Warren King. Artist, lothario, cricketing giant. Even though he'd only played a handful of games since he was twelve years old, and asked questions about what colour he had to wear during the match, and even though it was first thing on a Saturday morning when I was asking him to show us how it was done; never in my life have I heard a mature man such as he, giggle with excitement and vivid anticipation.  The deal was done, the team was complete, we were ready. All that stood between us and victory now, was one man.

Mr Hobbs glared at me with spite before growling that I was late for practise. After reminding him of the year I graduated, all was well and it felt good to be back. The pavilion brought back  memories of running out onto the pitch wearing tea cosies that cut off the blood supply to my frontal lobe, and spending many a happy Saturday playing cricket with ten other school chums, all of whom had lines engraved into their foreheads from said tea cosies. Once you leave the realms of education (a quick good luck to Marjoram and Rob, who I believe will be doing that this year), it's unfortunately too easy to forget just how much fun was had, being able to skip chapel for away games, and obliterating oppositions on their Founder's Days, even when their 35 year old West Indian superstar had bowled us out for 50 (I'm not talking about Dulwich at all). Therefore, just being back, and having a cup of tea in the pavilion, was a treat.

Then I saw what had been done to the school cricket kits. It was like a cotton version of Vegas, but I won't go into it. I won't debate the need for names and numbers on the back of a cricket shirt, or question the use of the school emblem and the use of size 7000 font to print letters across the front. I won't go into it, mainly because all my kit is inexplicably labelled with the logo of the manufacturer 'MAL SKILLS'. Needless to say, they all looked very smart, organised and sponsored.

After previous housemasters and teachers greeted me, quoted silly things I'd said and told me how fat I used to be, the game commenced. One should note for the few readers in South America who aren't clued up on E.C. Founder's Day games that it is a tradition for the Old Epsomians to give the young fleet of whippersnappers a fighting chance, which will help explain the scorecard of 32-3 which we had produced before the heavens opened and dreams were dashed. A fine effort by Norton-Amor, producing figures of 2-14 would have been remembered, had it not been for Lammiman's stream of consciousness that was again littered with four letter words as he strode back from the middle in what had turned into a wet t-shirt contest. Luckily, I was still in my dark clothing, otherwise I would have had some explaining to do.

So, there we were, huddled in the pavilion, contemplating life, as a torrential downpour washed away Marjoram's tears and all his hopes for a long stay at the wicket. However, due to a mixture of a fine Burgundy and intimidated umpires, a time was allocated for pitch inspection to see if the game could continue, despite the hurricane still being present and ripping down a few of the thousand signs to everywhere on the Epsom College campus. Optimism at its best. With that optimism brought a thought of lunch, and I went for my customary inspection.

As we all know, the recession still exists.

Alone, in the corner of our dressing room, I was coming to terms with the lack of smoked salmon sandwiches, and so headed back to see what else was on offer. There was genuinely a fine spread, including poached salmon (which came with a shell containing an i-Pod playing the sounds of the ocean), a lovely salad and fine selection of dessert. I won't allocate number scoring this time, as there's no such thing as form in cup games. With the game clearly about to be abandoned, I looked for a glass of wine. On the table where the bottles should have been, there were just ringed imprints on the table cloth.  Weird.

Mr. Hobbs was in high spirits. He firmly believed the game would go ahead. No one told him to look up.

Soon, the game was officially called off. I began planning my route back to the ghetto, Marjoram back to his desk and Vernon back to his country retreat. Memory lane was closed for road works, and we all began to leave.

A couple of hours later, Mr. Hobbs was having a great time, due to the fact that we were about to begin a 20/20 epic, after Hurricane Cricket Match had departed. We batted first, and records were being smashed right from the get-go. When I say, 'records', at no point am I referring to the nine wides that were bowled by one of the young fleet's opening bowlers. I just wanted to make that clear. Wides are easily bowled, and sometimes, it is just more efficient to bowl them all at once, instead of spreading them out across a lifetime. In my opinion, it takes real guts to get to five wides, and then say, 'You know what, I'm going to bowl another four', so all I'm saying is that I don't want readers complaining to me about being rude or going on and on about the nine wides, because nine wides is a lot, but nine wides is not something that someone will always remember having done on a Founder's Day.

When I say 'records', I mean Vernon's obliteration, on top of the nine wides. I don't know what had been said to him, but the chap was not happy, and clearly not up for the sharp singles he made his name with. 'In my arc, out the park' he was heard screaming as he thrashed another to cow corner. Seventeen balls later, it was time for the second over, and we were in good shape. Mr. Perry added to the attack with a fine display of swash-buckling. 'Not on my watch' he whispered to the oncoming delivery, before smashing it into one of the upper rooms of Wilson House. 'I'll get it', said James Marjoram. 'But you don't know the code,' said I. 'Sounds like a challenge', said he.

James threw the ball back and then exclaimed that 'with the rate we're going at, it probably makes more sense for me to stay up here'. Logical. And the rate did continue, until some tight bowling from the little ones began to peg us back a bit. A couple of wickets down, with Vernon departing for a great knock of 34, and Perry for 28, the next contestants were Lloyd and Lammiman. I'm new to watching Lloyd bat but it was entertaining to say the least. Not as entertaining as his first innings of the day, but still a spectacle that drew the crowds.

Lammiman on the other hand, brought the same monotonous, dreary nonsense we'd all seen before. It was just bizarre. Every time he played a stroke I couldn't help but think of Bambi's mum being shot, not because Lammi's footwork resembled Bambi on ice; that goes without saying, it was just the depressing nature with which he imposed himself. The endless wandering to square leg, repositioning of the cameramen and dabbing down of bits of the Welsh pitch were too much for us to take. It was a hard fought innings. For us. I'm not going to mention that the scorebook says he achieved a fine 44 not out, because we all know scorebooks can be full of deception, as my bowling figures clearly show.

Therefore, we finished our twenty overs on 164 for 5, with Lloyd making 11, the traditional English gent (Gould) on 6, Billings on 12, and Pitout on 2 not out.

Then came the reply of the youngsters.

Controversy follows Lammiman wherever he goes; whether it's the Burberry lining to his school blazer, his penchant for married women or his novel ways to open wine bottles whilst driving; but nothing he has ever done will match the decision to bowl me up the hill, whilst playing at home. The crowd hushed as they saw me marking my run up the hill; looking to each other for an explanation, or some form of reasoning for the choice. None came. They stayed in a morbid silence, until a female staff member shouted, 'Oh that's Dougie! Christ, he's lost weight. I didn't recognise him' from somewhere in the score box. Due to bribery, corruption and age, Chicken Tanna stumbled down the hill and slung it on the spot every time, like one of those proper bowlers. Sure, he did exactly what was asked of him. Sure, he swung it round corners, and sure, he took all the wickets, but is that really what cricket is about these days? And besides, he didn't have Mr. Hobbs umpiring at his end, staring at him with extreme melodrama every time he ran in.

Yes, I've been out of the game a wee bit. Yes, my fitness levels aren't what they used to be, but no, I will not give up, no matter how many times both the Lammiman cricketers implore me to do so. With the fight in my spirit; firmly ignited, I tore in. Literally. My body is no longer used to that sort of motion, and I tore everything in my body, in my first run up. Therefore, I was tense, to say the least. Everything had tightened up, I looked like Marjoram after a weekend away from his desk. The first of my deliveries nearly landed on the pitch, so I was chuffed. The Hawk Eye of my third one showed the ball start towards the left hander's corridor of uncertainty, swing back just a touch, pitch on a length, straighten, and strike the batsmen just below the knee roll on his back pad. 'How is that good sir?' I questioned. After turning his head back down from gazing in amazement that the sun and the moon were in the sky at once, Mr. Hobbs bellowed a 'Not out' that sent reverberations through my spine, nearly causing me to embarrass myself more than I already had. From that moment on, I knew my place and didn't question his authority again, apart from his switch from red to white in the fifth over.

After finishing off the remnants of the oxygen mask, I decided to call it a day, and I was replaced by more traditionalists. A cracking day was had for Pitout in the field, picking up 2 for 26 and taking two catches, but for me, the star of the show was Mr. Gould. It's rare in today's world to see such sporting etiquette and love for the game, greatly exemplified by his dismissal of J Allen on 18, where he ripped the middle stump from Planet Earth, only to replace it, adorn the bails, and explain that people had come here to see the young man bat, not him bowl. Marvellous.

It should be noted that Mr. Allen did bat alarmingly well. I say 'alarmingly' because he clearly had not been given the script of the day, and chose to improvise by connecting with the ball, somehow smashing me through fine legs for two fours in a row. Whips off his legs, punches through the covers, a solid defence. The coaching at Epsom has obviously come on along way since my day, when Mr. Conway believed in living for the moment and taught everyone the reverse sweep, and then moved onto the forward defensive.  Anyway, Mr Allen, if I was able to take the hat off that's been stuck to my head since the fifth form, I would have; well played.

Although the game got closer than we would have liked, and although my only contribution to the game was more of a detraction, I'll still get stuck in to some of the credit we enjoyed for beating them. The kids finished on 136 for 6, and begrudgingly, one should apparently applaud Chicken for excellent figures of four overs, one maiden, four wickets for 15 runs.

A great game was had by all, except Lammiman, and a large thank you will be sent to the caterers for all their fantastic efforts in the form of a generous cheque from the captain.

The OE Equestrian Society has been established by Gerald Goodman (Crawfurd 1965-70) to cater for the variety of equestrian interests among OEs. The Society was successfully launched at the College in May 2009 with representatives from the Surrey Union Hunt, the Equestrian Conservation Society, a local training yard, Drewitt's Carriages and Epsom Riding for the Disabled. Guest speaker on the evening was Michael Church, Derby historian and author.

South Hatch Racing Club/Restaurant was the venue for the most recent event when OEs learned about carriage driving and the Royal Mews at Buckingham Palace. Guests were also able to view the extensive collection of racing memorabilia on show in the restaurant, including letters from Sir Winston Churchill and photographs of him with his horses which were stabled adjacent to the restaurant.

Contact oeclub@epsomcollege.org.uk if you would like to join the Society. 

The OE Financial Services Society was launched on 1^st July 2009 with a wine tasting hosted by Andrew Pianca at his offices Horwath Clark Whitehill in London EC4.  This networking group is open to all members of the Epsom College community who work in finance. The Society aims to provide a means of communication between its members as well as being a source of information to current and former pupils and offering support to those studying for a career in the industry.

For further information contact Sue Croucher at oeclub@epsomcollege.org.uk 

OEs beat the College 1^st XI 3-1 at their inaugural match on 28^th February 2010. The side was brought together by Harpreet Sood (Forest 1999-2004) who is a medical student at Guy's, King's and St Thomas' (King's College London). Anyone who can commit to regular practice at Wandsworth Common and approximately 15 matches a season is warmly encouraged to join the Club. The Club is delighted to have been accepted into Division Five of the Arthurian League http://www.arthurianleague.com/.

Please contact Harpreet at harpreet.sood@gmail.com if you would like to play or get involved in any way. There is also a Facebook group. 

The OE Golf Society can boast an impressive membership of some 150 devotees. Previous winners of the prestigious Halford Hewitt Cup, the Club holds two meetings a year at the Royal Ashdown Forest Golf Club in June and the Little Aston Golf Club in September.

Throughout the year OEs play matches against other Societies and play two games a year against the talented girls and boys of the College. OE Ross McGowan from Surrey, an active member of the Society, is a well known golfer who plays regularly on the European Tour and played in the 2008 US Open, his first major.

Whatever your standard of golf or your age, the Society offers something for you, whether it be competitions, improving your handicap or a social round. The Club looks forward to welcoming both female and male members, and is confident all OEs will enjoy the opportunity to extend their game whilst meeting new and old acquaintances.

Any OE golfer who wishes to join please contact Dr Alastair Wells ( Forest 1973-78) 5 Osmund Close, Worth, Crawley, West Sussex RH10 7RG or email docwellsofworth@compuserve.com

Useful links:

Grafton Morrish: http://freespace.virgin.net/grafton.morrish/index.htm

Halford Hewitt: http://www.halfordhewitt.com/

For a membership application form, click here

For the 2010 Fixture List, click here

For Golf Society Meetings 2010, click here

For 2010 season results, click here

The Hockey Club meets on a regular basis to train and play matches against other teams. A highlight of the season is the annual OE Hockey versus the College 1st XI, usually a highly entertaining and hard fought game, followed by a chance to socialise at an informal reunion.

The OE Hockey Club welcomes both male and female players of all abilities and offers them the opportunity to continue to improve their skills, whilst socialising in a welcoming atmosphere with old and perhaps new friends.

This year's men's hockey match took place on Sunday 21st March. For the match report and photos click here  

For more information contact David Litchfield: djlitch@gmail.com 

The OE Legal Society was launched on 19th September 2008 at the Chambers of Steven Kay QC. This networking group is open to all members of the Epsom College community who work in the legal profession. The Society aims to provide a means of communication between its members as well as being a source of information to current and former pupils and offering support to those studying for a career in the industry.

This year's OE Legal Society Dinner took place on 19th March at Inner Temple Hall. To see the report and photos click here 

For further information about the OE Legal Society contact Sue Croucher at oeclub@epsomcollege.org.uk 

The oldest and most established of the OE Societies, the OE Lodge was founded in 1911 and attracts members from all professions and ages. Epsom College founder John Propert initiated the early groundwork in Free Masonry at Epsom College. He was himself Past Master of the Lodge of Nine Muses – one of the oldest Lodges in the Country.

The OE Lodge meets four evenings a year at Freemasons Hall in Great Queen Street, London. After the gathering, members dine in a private function room at a well known Italian restaurant. The November meeting of the Lodge meets at Epsom College followed by a grand dinner in Main Hall.

The OE Lodge is renowned for its support of needy charities, having recently taken part in the Square Mile run for the London Charity “Crisis.” Other recent events included a Lodge trip to the D-Day Landings.

All OE Freemasons are welcome to attend meetings of the OE Lodge and a warm welcome is extended to all OEs who would like to find out more about becoming a member. For further information contact Philip Bennison, bennisonp@hotmail.com or phone 02087677370.  See more details at www.oelodge.org 

On Tuesday, 16^th September 2008, the Development Trust and the OE Club held its first "OE Lunch Club." OEs and current members of staff enjoyed a delicious lasagne and lively conversation.  Since then, lunches have been held every month during term time.

This is a fun and easy way to come back to the College for a visit. You can bring a partner, a friend or come on your own. The terms are really quite simple: call or email to book a place, meet at Reception at 12.40pm, pitch in £1 and enjoy. We like to think that the conversation is nearly as good as the food. Please join us!

The inaugural meeting and dinner of the OE Medical Society took place in May 2000, hosted by Dr Paul Knapman. Many OE medical students and current U6th College pupils attend the dinner in February or March each year, where they are seated alongside senior members from all branches of the profession

The 2010 Dinner was held on Friday 5th March at the Royal College of Physicians. To see the report and photos click here

For further information please contact the OE Secretary. Email@ oeclub@epsomcollege.org.uk 

With competitors at both National and County level, the OE Rifle Club is a highly successful Society and attracts membership from all ages and abilities.

OE Parag Patel (Holman 1989-94) represented England at the 2006 Commonwealth Games, winning both Gold and Silver Medals. Ian Shaw (Carr 1982-87) also represented Scotland at the Commonwealth Games.

The season starts each year in March and runs through to the end of July. During this period there are regular practices and team shoots every two weeks. A total of five teams are entered in competitions to allow all members – even the less experienced – to taste the excitement of competition. The highlight of the season is the Imperial Meeting in July, commencing with the Ashburton Veterans and culminating ten days later with the final of the Queen’s prize.

A warm welcome awaits all OEs (both men and women) where the opportunity exists to develop further and extend your shooting, whilst enjoying a host of social functions. For further information go to the website www.oerc.org.uk or contact Dudley Rees, mailto:dudleyrees@yahoo.co.uk 

For all OEs who enjoyed rugby at the College, the OE Rugby Sevens Club is a way of continuing your passion for the sport.

The OEs Rugby Sevens is experiencing a revival with the recent establishment of two informal invitation rugby sevens sides called the “Old Epsomians Internationals” and the “Old Epsomians Super Seven.” The difference between the two sides is that the “Internationals” play more serious sevens whilst the “Super Sevens” play with a more social agenda!

During the past few years the Club has competed in some five tournaments a season ranging from national competitions to weekend University events. Recently it won the plate at the Footcray RFC Sevens and was runner up at the East Grinstead Sunshine Sevens. Players also undertook a tour to Holland in 2006.

The OE Rugby Sevens offers OEs a new sporting challenge - to continue their enthusiasm for the game whilst indulging their passion for socialising in true rugby spirit. For further information contact Tristan Aylward: tristan@e4s.co.uk 

Founded in 2000, the OE Volleyball Club is a vibrant stimulating Society attracting enthusiasts of all ages and standards who have a passion for the game. Non-OEs are also very welcome to join.

The Club is suitable for those who like to keep fit as well as the competitively minded. Competitions are organised under the umbrella of the Surrey Volleyball League with weekly or fortnightly matches for men and women taking place during October to April. The Club also runs its own annual tournament which takes place on 8th July this year. 

An Open Day will be held on 30th June from 2pm when OEs are invited to come along to improve their skills and have some fun. Families are very welcome and refreshments will be available.

The Club welcomes new members. Training takes place on Wednesday evenings from 7.00 to 8.30pm in the Sports Hall at the College. For further information contact Steve Hibbitt: s-hibbitt@epsomcollege.org.uk or go to http://www.epsomvolleyball.org.uk/