College Poets Inspired by Benjamin Zephaniah | Epsom College
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College Poets Inspired by Benjamin Zephaniah

Our Middle Fourth (Year 9) pupils have been studying the work of Benjamin Zephaniah as part of their ‘spoken word’ poetry module in English.

One of Benjamin’s most famous poems, The British, is written in the style of a recipe (view below).  Teacher of English, Ms Thorpe, challenged her class to write poems that indicated the recipe to make up the Epsom College community.

Below are three excellent examples which highlight all that is good about the College.


Epsom College (best fit for 1,000)

by Georgie Watkin (Wh)


Start by taking some English boys

(sons of doctors are preferred).

Leave to simmer for 120 years,

Then stir in some girls in equal parts.


Take pupils from Hong Kong, China,

USA, Australia, Russia and Bulgaria

And allow them to settle,

Flourishing in the mix.


Combine the year groups

And separate them into houses,

Blending and strengthening the flavours.

Allow it to chill.


After 40 years overrun the dish with Lower School

Letting them settle and fill the bowl.

And fold in some rugby and hockey

Melting in football and netball as you whisk.


Add a side of benevolence and spirit,

Season with excellence and serve with success



Epsom College (serves 956)

by Edie McLennan Fordyce (Rv)


Take kind, interesting and unique children

And let them simmer,

We will let them sit, while surrounded by buildings and green pitches.


Now that they are ready and have been prepared,

Remove the 18-year-olds.

Make sure to add new 11-year-olds each year.


Don’t forget to mix all the ingredients,

Including: all races, all religions and all genders.

To the pot we will also mix in,

Music, drama, sport and art,

Now turn up the heat.


Sprinkle in 100 or more staff

And leave the ingredients to simmer


As they mix and blend allow their languages to flourish

Binding them together with English.


Don’t forget to drop some fixtures and competitions in the pot,

But make sure they don’t splash.


Allow time to cool down.


Now that everything is mixed together,

Add in some respect, friendships and kindness.

Serve with pride

And enjoy.


Note: All ingredients and equally important, so make sure a bit of everything comes with every serving. Handle food with care and treat all the ingredients equally or else the flavours will not be able to flourish nicely. 

Warning: If you do not treat the ingredients equally you could be hurt, so be careful. 


Epsom College (serves 960)

by Josh McDonald (H)


Take some introductory students, international students and hardworking students,

Mix them with rugby, football, hockey and netball.


Throw in lots of lessons and activities every day,

With a pinch of sport and relaxation time.

Do not forget to add the prep.


Blend very thoroughly,

Try to get all the humps and bumps out of the way.

Make sure to pre-grease the tin with lots of fun and happiness.


Now gently pour the mix into the tray,

And smooth it like the days are with Chapel.


Bake at a high temperature for about 50 minutes,

And once done make sure to leave to cool for a further 25 minutes.


While cooling, make the icing.


Add 100g of Mr Piggot,

50g of Mr Williams,

A further 50g of HMMs

And 50g of all teachers and other staff.

Add 250ml of water and stir vigorously.


Once it has cooled carefully add the icing,

Smooth it with care and pride.


Now serve to everyone with joy.


Note: Do not miss any of the ingredients or weigh them without scales! They are all as equal as each other and most importantly as welcome as each other! 

Warning: If the measurements are half a gram off this will not work! It needs to be very accurate! Read recipe thoroughly!  


The British

by Benjamin Zephaniah